Not divorced dating
.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes with a host of issues and complications that spell drama, stress and heartache to a woman.The bottom line is that going through a divorce requires a lot of him – he must grieve, heal, hash through legalities, potentially adjust to single parenting and financial limitations, as well as rediscover a new sense of who he is today.Accepting that that dream has died – and that he –is a painful process that requires the healing hands of time. It amazes me how many men are two, three, even important and it’s far more than “just a piece of paper.” In addition to providing some legal closure, it brings more emotional closure. Your separated man could be angry at many things: himself, a legal battle, women in general, even life.Throwing himself into dating or another relationship may temporarily make him feel better – but it only postpones the inevitable inner work that needs to be done. It symbolizes the completion of an old life – a finished chapter – as well as the freedom and independence to create a new future (ahem, a new relationship, possibly with you! Ask him this: If, in fact, the divorce decree isn’t a big deal (like he says), then why doesn’t he just get it done? Then ask him if he thinks it’s fair and reasonable to expect you to continue dating Hmmm… You know it’s possibly because he’s still emotionally “holding onto her”, too, right? If you pay attention, you’ll see flashes of it — in his eyes, his periods of silence or in his body language.It is a process that requires time, self-awareness and hard work.
The high and excitement of getting involved with you is essentially distracting him from the pain of his divorce.I also hasten to add that not separated man is disastrous to date – and should be considered as a unique individual.My concern, however, is that women are blindly and/or naively getting involved with separated men without understanding the huge risk: that is, . If your separated man consistently avoids talking about his divorce or says things to minimize or downplay it, consider it a warning sign worth flagging.It’s a mentality of “this bitch owes me” and he’s speaking from the Victim position. That being said, if your separated man was unfaithful in his marriage, you need to proceed very slowly and spend extra time assessing his character, behavior, and moral code.
Two important warning signs to watch for are self-justification and blaming.
Whatever the case may be, these kinds of circumstances are extremely stressful for him, which will inevitably ripple into your relationship together in some way(s).